Archive for the ‘Reviews’ Category

Oh my god. I’m so behind.

March 5, 2011 Leave a comment

Man, I’m kind of a flake. I have a lot of opinions about games and the game industry, but I don’t seem to have the fortitude to put any of it in to words. My mind works at a million miles an hour and by the time I get done writing a couple paragraphs, I blank on where I was headed with it. In any case, VIDEO GAMES, right guys?! Let’s talk about them! How ’bout them 2011 releases and that Prince of Persia: Forgotten Sands review I promised and never delivered?

    Alright, so this game isn’t… bad. It’s just also not very good. Poptfs is probably one of the most blatant cash ins I’ve ever experienced, though also probably one of the most relatively enjoyable, as cash ins usually blow. While the game may not have been designed to be an adaption of the new (at the time) Sands of Time movie, it was clearly designed to coincide with the release in the hopes that either someone would play it and see the movie, or see the movie and play it. As far as story goes, it’s probably the weakest of the series. This didn’t have to happen; the seven year gap between Sands of Time and Warrior Within left a lot of room for a more engaging storyline than HEY HERE’S YOUR BROTHER YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF BEFORE AND WILL NEVER MENTION AGAIN NOW SAVE HIS CASTLE FROM GIANT MONSTERS.
    I was personally hoping for a story chronicling the Prince’s decline from good natured, cocky hero to I. STAND ALOOOONE. INSIDE I. STAND ALOOONE (stand aloooone.). This was not what I got, and it feels kind of like a waste.
    Mechanically, the game takes cues from both its predecessors and its sister franchise, Assassins Creed. This is no surprise, since the game was built off the AC framework. This is probably the best part of the game, however, as it maintains that old PoP free running puzzle feel, while having the fluidity of Assassins Creed traversal. If they were to, say, remake the entire SOT trilogy with this technology, I probably wouldn’t argue.
    Visually, the game is a mishmash of environments that look like suped up remakes of Sands of Time, Warrior Within, and Two Thrones locations. One room is almost literally a twin to the mechanical gear room puzzle in Warrior Within. It was a nice bit of nostalgia, but it felt kind of hollow, like the developers couldn’t be assed to make a new and interesting environment for this game. Then again, a castle is pretty much a castle, so what are you gonna do?
    Lastly, at least the game wasn’t difficult. I breezed through it without dying more than maybe three times, and those deaths were all due to faulty attempts at puzzleforming (my word for puzzle platforming that I just made up right now.). The combat flows well, and once you significantly power up the Prince, he pretty much rips through most enemies. So, while the game wasn’t particularly engaging, it was breezy enough for me to bother finishing it.

    So this has been kind of a crappy write up, but I’ve had about four hours of sleep and I’m not really going for professional grade quality here. Plus, if you wanted to play this game, you already have. I just wanted to get my thoughts down.

  • The Age of Dragons. Again.
    This year holds two dragon related sequels that are probably going to occupy my time and own my soul. First, and most directly relevant, is Dragon Age 2. Excuse me… Dragon Age II. Oooooh lordy. Dragon Age: Origins single handedly stole away about 60 hours of my life; 40 for one playthrough and 20 between all the others I’ve started and never finished. Recently, I borrowed my friend’s 360 copy of Dragon Age to get a save file in there to carry over to DA2, since I played the original on a woefully underpowered laptop and I want to play DA2 without worrying about my graphics card melting. After watching me play it for a couple hours, though, he was immediately sucked back in and jacked the game back from me. Who was I to argue? That’s the power of Dragon Age. I had almost forgotten just how the early days of that game were. Everyone talked about the things they did and no two people seemed to have the same experience. I can’t wait to have that experience all over again. Some people seem to be throwing pot shots at the mechanics, the story, the writing, the new dialogue system, etc. I say shut up and have some faith, this is Bioware we’re talking about. The only time they’ve even come close to producing a bad game was that Sonic RPG from a few years back. Just be glad they aren’t outsourcing DA2 to Obsidian, then we’d get a half finished, broken game that’s nearly a carbon copy of the first. Here’s lookin’ at you, KOTOR 2.
    Oh right, Dragons. So there’s this little franchise that started out on the PC years ago. Elder Scrolls, you may have heard of it. Well, after five years and two fallout titles of patiently waiting, TES V is coming, and it looks amazing. Now, people love to knock Oblivion these days for its faults, but hey, fuck you, Oblivion was incredible when it came out. It’s still fun to take a romp trough Cyrodil occasionally, if only to kill -everyone-.
    I could talk about this game for paragraphs,  but I don’t want to right now. I wonder how a Skyrim anticipation podcast would work out… Point is, I’m fucking hyped for this game.
  • Supremacy MMA
    This game looks siiiiick. No, just kidding, this game looks like absolute dog shit and I hope it fails commercially. Way to set the sport back like ten years, guys. Jesus.


Till next poorly writting, sleep deprived blog,

This guy.


Sonic Fan Remix: Thoughts/Mini Review

October 22, 2010 2 comments

Transparency: I’m a member of the Sonic Retro site and forums. I was a producer for Ashura: Dark Reign (See some earlier posts of mine) in its days of origin. I’ve dabbled in game maker, multimedia fusion, and the games factory. I’ve been watching Sonic fan projects come, go, and expand for a long, long time. The part where I’m a member of Sonic Retro is important here, because it means I’ve been watching the Sonic Fan Remix, along with everyone else on that site, develop since early this year. This project has gained incredible amounts of coverage from various video game sites, and made headway on the net as the ‘Sonic 4 Killer’, or “What Sonic 4 should be.”.

And now, at long last, after much mouth-breathing and salivation, Pelikan13 has graced us with a demo of his astounding project. I, of course, immediately went to give it a download. And by that, I mean I waited a day, because I was on the college computer when I first discovered it had been released, and the servers were smashed when I got back home.

Well, guess what, it’s amazing. Here’s the thing, though. I refuse to analyze and praise this project in contrast to Sonic 4 as everyone seems hellbent on doing. I like Sonic 4, first of all, second of all, this game isn’t trying to be Sonic 4, and third, I believe judging this game against Sonic 4 does it a disservice by not letting it stand on its own merits. I’m not going to let this be “This puts SEGA to shame” or “THIS IS HOW SONIC 4 SHOULD LOOK”, because this is a project that deserves to stand alone, in its own spot light. Not with the shadow of other projects.

Youtube footage thanks to Jerphunter. I uploaded my own, but this looks way better, and you can watch it in HD.

I don’t need to tell you this is a good looking demo, but I’ll tell you anyway; this is a god damn gorgeous game. Pelikan has brought the classic Emerald Hill (Props for not just rehashing vanilla Green Hill Zone) into HD in beautiful form. The surreal and curvy palmtrees, oversized totem pole tikis, sparkling water in the background, and Eggman flags interspersed here and there take this beyond “This is how I remember this looking” in to a realm of “This is how I wanted this to look back in 1992”. Classic Sonic himself makes a surprisingly smooth transition into 3D model form, with all the charm you’d expect from the rounded, stubby hedgehog of yesteryear. I particularly appreciate the little touches of detail like the Eggman mech in the background, the Orca towards the end of Act 1, and the developing ROBOLAND sign in the background through all three acts. There’s a passage of time here that’s quite neat and works well, thematically. Now all we need is a boss act that takes place with a twinkling night sky and the beginnings of a robotic city in the background.

This comes at a cost, though. If you have a decent rig, you should be fine to run the game. If you have a slightly older machine (Or a shitty laptop like mine), you’ll have to dial the graphics down to fastest and run the game at a lower resolution. It’s a small price to pay, the game still looks phenomenal on low settings.

Of course, the physics of a Sonic game, which have now literally been condensed in to a science by my fellow Sonic Retro members (Personally, I preferred when Sonic ran fast and you just kind of accepted that fact.), are often harped upon in any sort of interactive media featuring the character. Well, as far as ‘classic’ Sonic physics go, SFR is spot-fucking-on. This is in large part thanks to Retro member Mercury, who created a ‘Physics Guide’ for Sonic on the site, and has been instrumental in Pelikan13’s nailing the feel of the Genesis classics. Everything flows well and feels sharp. This might be the first 3D fan project, or 3D project ever, to hit that 16 bit pinball physics feel, and it feels good.

The music is a joy to listen to. There were pages of deliberation on Retro about who should be gone to for music (well, pages of suggestions, really, since only a few people have any real hand in SFR’s development.), and I’m pretty happy with how it turned out. It’s just a reworked version of older songs, but it’s fitting. Sound design in general, really, is well done. The sound effects are all back in classic form, but some more atmospheric sounds (rushing water, etc) have been added to the zones to make them feel much more like actual locations and not just static things to run on.

Of course, this is only a demo, and I’ve already managed to extrapolate this much. I wouldn’t expect a finished product any time in the near future, unless Pelikan hand picks several people to help him speed the process, but it’s an astounding proof of concept that I hope to see more from soon.

You can find the official SFR website Here, downloads of the demo Here and Here, and the thread on Sonic Retro Here.

Sonic The Hedgehog 4: Episode 1 Review

October 12, 2010 2 comments


A familiar sight, indeed.


Sonic The Hedgehog 4: Episode 1 (Yes, the fourth Sonic The Hedgehog game, at last. There have been no others. Ever.) comes at a strange and somewhat appropriate time in games history. In the past couple of years, there’s been a strong nineties resurgence with titles like Street Fighter 4, Megaman 9 and 10, New Super Mario Bros, and the upcoming Mortal Kombat game, all hearkening back to their early-90s ancestry. Sonic The Hedgehog continues this trend with Sonic 4, and not a moment too soon. It’s no secret that the Sonic franchise has been in the gutter for the past decade or so, with the amount of time and the number of games featuring Sonic that have been panned now outnumbering the hallowed classics. Sonic 4 stands as what could be the last chance for the franchise to earn back some respect among the video game populace, and have a breath of fresh air amongst all the waste the brand has been excreting, but is it enough? Does it live up to its golden (Or should I say royal blue) forefathers?

The story of Sonic games since the late 90s has been a bit of a laughing point for any self respecting human being over the age of 13. The games have slowly taken on more and more ridiculously self serious tones, culminating in 2006’s Sonic The Hedgehog, in which Sonic died. Not permanently, mind you, but the fact remains that Sonic fucking dies. Sonic 4, thankfully, does away with any trace of a plot past the mid 90s and graces us with a very simple narrative: Eggman (hereby referred to as Robotnik, because I am a giant retrofag.) is up to no good. Make him cut it out. The game itself doesn’t even really touch on the story, and sends you right in to the first zone when you pick ‘start’. Just the way I like it.


A smattering of nostalgia for your eyeholes! But what lies BEYOND this enigmatic curtain of red, white, and blue?


From the get-go, the fact that this is an attempt to hearken back to the days of 16 bit, 2-D sidescrollers is immediately apparent. You’re treated to an old school level title card, some midi-sounding music (None of which is very memorable, I have to add, as a side-note), and a landscape very reminiscent of Sonic 1’s Green Hill Zone. Including that motobug, right there. And those piranha things… And that spring… Wait a second, you might think, feeling utterly duped; This is Green Hill Zone.

Well, yes and no. See, that’s kind of Sonic 4: Episode 1’s shtick. The story that wasn’t touched on earlier? It’s basically “Robotnik is recycling his old creations, ’cause he’s out of ideas”, and it echoes in the zones. Every single one of them, save for the final zone, is extremely reminiscent of an earlier, 16 bit counterpart. Namely; Green Hill Zone and Labyrinth Zone from Sonic 1, and Casino Night Zone and Metropolis Zone from Sonic 2. That’s not to say these levels are carbon copies. Though the level art evokes the feeling of “What you remember this level looking like”, there are new elements to the re-imagined 3D art, and new gimmicks in the zones themselves. That said, there are also some old gimmicks, so all and all these end up feeling more or less like remixed locations that you’ve already tread if you’ve played either of the first two games of the series.

The level design itself isn’t bad, especially in comparison to other recent entries in the series, offering the branching paths and speedy venues that made the original Sonics so fun to explore and tool around in, whether you like to see how blisteringly fast you can make it through each stage, or poke around at a more methodical pace to see what secret items and areas you can find. The most offensive lapse in good level design is a liberal smattering of chains of enemies to homing attack in order to reach the upper-most areas of a level. These are almost never necessary to actually traverse a stage, but it would be nice to be able to reach these higher paths without spending most of your time airborne, pressing Jump.


This probably isn't feasible according to Sir Isaac Newton.


On that note, (rough segue!) the physics in Sonic 4 all-together feel a little ‘off’. Now, I’m not gonna go in to anal-retentive recitals of algorithms and slope angles like some of the more obsessive Sonic fans out there, but it doesn’t take a hardcore fan to notice things feel a little floaty. Sonic’s movement lacks any sort of momentum or weight, to the point where often times it is possible to stop on a dime by jumping, which seems to completely cancel out any existing movement if you’re not holding a direction down. While this can be a live saver on particularly perilous platforming parts (Quadruple alliteration. I’m quite proud.), it feels clunky everywhere else. When you’re in the air, or moving at high speeds, the game flows quite well, but the problem is that spending half your time with your feet off solid ground, chaining homing attacks just isn’t fun after a while.


I'm not gonna lie. This is what sold me on Sonic 4.


Despite some rough areas that could use a loving touch and some polish to bring out what I feel could truly be a good game beneath its flaws, Sonic 4 still manages to exude some of the charm present in its predecessors, due in no small part to Sonic’s reduction to a small character that communicated entirely with motion and doesn’t spout forced one liners and “YEAH. WAHOO” every three and a half seconds. It’s also nice to see the good Doctor as a main antagonist again, instead of a catalyst for a bigger, likely supernatural baddy to come and take the spotlight, as has been the formula for the last ten or so years. The nostalgia comes at a cost, though, ending up making S4E1 feel more like Sonic 1&2: Homing Attack Edition than anything else at times.

Outside of the linear story progression, there is time attack mode that can be accessed at any time after the first stage that acts as a fun distraction for anyone wanting to test their twitch reflexes in speed runs of Sonic 4’s levels. It’s not exactly a game maker or breaker, but it’s a plus.




All in all, Sonic 4 isn’t the glorious return to form some people were hoping for, no. It’s not anything particularly revolutionary, either. The game is, in short, average. If you’re a long time Sonic fan, you’ll eat it up. If you’re not, you probably won’t find anything to convert you in this game. It won’t break your heart, but it won’t make you fall in love again, either. There is an ending teasing Episode 2 if you get all the Chaos Emeralds that leaves me personally excited for the next chapter, though, and hopefully with that next chapter will come some changes to make the game more accessible. Until then, it’s not a terrible product by any stretch… but it’s just not quite enough to restore any permanent faith in the series.


EA MMA: In the blue corner, the challenger.

October 4, 2010 1 comment

Over the last ten or so years, there have actually been several Mixed Martial Arts video games, mostly focused on the lucrative UFC promotion. In 2009, this sub-genre was revolutionized and truly brought to the mainstream in a way that parallels the sports recent rise in popularity with UFC 2009: Undisputed. Undisputed presented the sport with a brutal realism that was far removed from button combos and special moves that developers tried to shoehorn into its predecessors. It was impressive, but it lacked some key elements in the cage. UFC Undisputed 2010 fixed many of these issues, and it was hard to imagine how it could be vastly improved upon at that point.

A little known fact is that Dana White and the UFC went to EA long before THQ and Yukes to make a UFC game. EA dismissed MMA as ‘not a real sport’ and continued to make another Madden. However, the success of Undisputed caught EA’s eye, and deals with the lesser promotion Strikeforce were made immediately, to the complete spite of Dana White, who went so far as to declare any UFC fighters that appear in EA’s MMA game to be fired from the UFC (Of course, this seems to not count for Randy Couture, though this seems to have been allowed because Randy had not signed his likeness over to THQ for undisputed).

And so comes EA MMA, a competitor that I think is needed if MMA video games are going to continue to improve, as I believe competition is the key to improvement. I’ll be transparent here; I’m a UFC fan. I see Strikeforce as a generally lesser promotion with lesser talent and more WWE-style production values. I expected very little out of EA MMA, and that was foolish of me. UFC Needs to step its game up for 2011, because EA is bringing its usual dominance to the proverbial cage.

The Demo for EA MMA just recently came out on XBLA (Yes, you can go play it. Right now!), and I of course had to give it a spin. I want to first note that I like UFC’s soundtrack better. The opening movie for EA being set to Linkin Park’s new song ‘Wretches and Kings’ was a little eye roll worthy, but that’s a very petty complaint. Let’s move, instead, into the important factors: The game’s performance.

EA MMA takes a lot of cues from undisputed, presentation-wise, but veers off in some very significant ways on its own. The biggest difference is of course EA’s ‘Total Striking Control’, which takes more than a small bit of influence from EA’s other hit fighting franchise, Fight Night. It’s the same sort of set up, with the right analog stick controlling your furious fists. However, since this is in fact not boxing, the left trigger serves as a modifier to turn those punches in to kicks controlled via the same fashion. The face buttons serve as one press short cuts to clinch, sprawl, and go for the takedown, while pressing A works to advance your position on the ground, X goes for a submission (Which we’ll get to), and B counters a move or stands you up if you’re in the dominant position. This greatly decreases the complicated nature of the ground game, which is a frustration for many in Undisputed.

However, there is also a control scheme called ‘Classic’ that mirrors Undisputed in an obvious way, with the same sort of striking face buttons and stick-based clinch and grapple. There are a few button variations (A fake-modifier button, which is much more useful against a human opponent who can actually get psyched out), but overall it might be the best choice if you plan to play both EA and UFC.

Submissions are the only thing that, no matter what, are a whole different beast. Instead of the irritating Mario Party submissions like in Undisputed, EA separates its submissions and their mechanics into joint and choke submissions. Joint submissions (Armbar, Kimura, Americana, etc) are a button pressing game in which you try to maintain your stamina while slowly pushing your opponent’s joints (represented in a very cool way by an X Ray view of the bones) to their limit. This isn’t button mashing, though, it requires much more careful timing. Choke submissions require you to rotate the left stick until you find the ‘sweet spot’, which will change periodically and requires a sort of constant twiddling to nail. Your vision tunnels in the closer you get to the choke, narrowing the sweet spot down and simulating actually passing out. Defending submissions works in the same manner.

Fighting in EA MMA feels good. I’ve always found Undisputed to feel a bit mechanical, movement wise, with sounds that don’t quite drive home the impact of every good punch. EA feels organic, and gives you a gratifying smack for every well landed hit. Knockouts are a flurry of punches that never cease to satisfy, and when you clinch, it really feels like these guys are throwing eachother around on your TV. When it comes down to it, I would be happy to sit back and watch people duke it out on EA MMA, while I always found spectating Undisputed matches to be a little boring and methodical. Point: EA.

This isn’t to say EA is absolutely the superior game. UFC seems to present more variable options, and the fights are a bit more spontaneous. EA has a visible torso and head health bar when you begin to really wail on a guy that lets you know when the knockout is coming, and while that’s very helpful for knowing when to back off and play defensive, it also takes a bit of the excitement out of the flash knock out. In fact, I don’t think I’ve seen a flash KO yet, as every KO becomes your opponent falling to the ground and you engaging in a mad button mashing sequence to finish him off as he tried desperately to defend. That said, you can turn the HUD completely off, but it doesn’t make flash KOs exist in the game.

Take all of this with a pillar of salt, seeing as this is only a demo. The full version of EA MMA will include EA Game Face in the create-a-fighter, which may or may not have terrible results, live broadcasts of fights in a real worldwide ranking, and many more features that I couldn’t explore in the demo. It’s shaping up to be a great game, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see Dana White making some calls if it does well. Look for a full review when the game comes out later this month.

Sequels, Quake 3: Reach, and Shit Captain James T. Dad Says.

September 24, 2010 Leave a comment

Hi, everyone. It’s me again. Today I want to talk about Halo some more (albeit, not exclusively). I might mention Halo a lot for a while, because Reach is cool and you would be cool if you played it. This isn’t necessarily about Reach, though, it’s about an issue that I feel has begun to infect and spread across the game industry at an alarming rate in the past few years.

For those who either missed the hyperlink or are the TL;DR type (shame on you!), the story basically comes down to the following point:

“343 Industries is thinking a lot about how to take this franchise and turn it into something that people feel like they have an ongoing relationship with and they can entertain themselves more often,” he told IGN. “But it’s not, hey every November 6 or whatever we have to ship a game and build a production plan around that. We want to do things that make sense as a first party.”
This makes sense for everyone involved: Halo has always been a huge cash cow for Microsoft, so why not release more of what gamers want? The tightrope walk comes from the challenge of increasing the number of releases while keeping quality high. Distressingly, Spencer points to Activision as a good example of aggressive release schedules.

Credit goes to and

If you want it to be even more deliciously summarized, here’s the hoe-down: Annualized Halo.

So here’s the thing about a sequel. In my opinion, at least, a sequel is supposed to be a follow up to a product that succeeds the original product via some form of change or innovation, be it for good or ill. In realistic development terms, one year is not enough to go back and do the kind of heavy altering to a game needed to create a good sequel. Hell, it’s barely enough time to come up with a good concept. What the concept of annual sequels leads to is a slew of games using the same engine (Minor tweaks, granted, but it’s too little too soon.) with very little in the way of variation beyond some content (story, graphical assets, et al). A perfect example is Call of Duty and Guitar Hero (The latter of which seems to have adopted a bi-annual spin-off development cycle). Sure is innovative in here, right? I don’t like to pick on either of those franchises because I don’t like them, either. As a matter of fact, I loved the first three (1, 2, 4) Call of Duty games, and Guitar Hero was amazing and original when the first couple came out.

What makes sequels special? Why do I love CODs 2 and 4, but not 3, 5, or 6? The wait. The feeling of seeing something you love in a new form. The jump from COD to COD2 was great, and the jump to 4’s technology was another giant leap in the franchise. All that was old was new and exciting again, which brings us back to Halo and why I’d hate to see this happen to that franchise. Halo generally has had a three year dev cycle. The main games have all come out thrice apart from eachother: HALO: CE (2001), HALO 2 (2004), HALO 3 (2007), HALO: REACH (2010). These three year gaps have allowed for Bungie to go in and completely retool everything from the ground up. Even the weakest of the main Halos (Not naming names!) was still a good game by general standards. The weakest of the Halo franchise thus far (ODST, in my opinion), was just building off Halo 3’s engine, and while it did some new things, it ultimately was not exciting for this fact; a perfect example of how this sort of thing is gonna go.

It’s not isolated to Halo, either. Street Fighter 4, Doom 3, Sonic Adventure, Morrowind, Oblivion, and (Hypothetically!) TES V. These are sequels that felt special because they had come out long enough after their predecessors to feel like a truly new product, albeit Doom 3 and SF 4 are kind of extreme cases, almost a decade is a looong time to wait for a follow up.

If MSoft really wants to have an annual tent pole, here’s my suggestion. Biennialize your heavy hitters. Halo, Gears (or whatever major Microsoft exclusive game that comes along in the future), Halo, Gears, etc. Two years is at least a bit more time to develop something new. Now, I know what you might think: But Mr. Opinion Man, Activision splits COD up biennialy between two teams!

Yes, it does, but those two teams are ultimately still working on the same franchise, sharing the same core resources. Halo and Gears/Fable/ExclusiveOfChoice are separate franchises with separate dev houses and separate engines and resources. Two years is much more merciful than “Alright guys, let’s crank a Halo out in November every 365 days or so). Plus, I can only imagine the stress and hours laden on the developers with that kind of deadline.

Ah hell, I guess when it comes down to it, the vast majority of consumers will buy an annual Halo regardless because they don’t know shit. See that? There’s the cynicism I promise all of you every day.

  • On to more pleasant matters: More REACH!

Look familiar? It should. It’s a reimagining (Obvious artistic license taken) of the classic Quake 3 Arena map “The Longest Yard”, which I’ve appropriately entitled “A Longer Yard”. Of course, Halo is not Quake 3, nor does it have even close to the same mechanics beyond “shoot a guy”, so some changes in the formula had to be made. You’ll notice the third tier of platforms has become just a raised area with ramps and the jump pad gap has become a horizontal bridge. I’ve also made the shotgun corner an enclosed space, because it needed some sprucing up and the raised aspect of the bunkers makes the map resemble its forefather a bit more. All teleporters are intact, as well as the middle jump pad and megahealth, which have been represented by a normal grav lift and Overarmor that respawns every two minutes. In place of the quad damage is an invisibility pickup. The sniper island is still there, it’s just not pictured, but the mancannon that launches to it is.

It’s a work in progress, even between those two pictures (The one with the railings and glass covers is newer), but I feel like it’s coming along well. When it’s finished, it should be up on my fileshare. I’ll make a post making note of it, the map name, and the author it will be under. In the meantime, I have another map up now called “Shore Line” under the author “DeathToMuffin”, so if you feel like giving that a shot, I’d appreciate feedback. It was my first forray into the Forge.

Moving Along:

  • Shit My Dad Says (I’m not censoring the goddamn fucking thing. Fuck.)

The premiere of the ‘twitcom’ aired last night, and it was pretty much William Shatner being William Shatner, including a wonderfully meta-humour moment where Henry (played by Jonathan Sadowski) does a typical Kirk-Shatner impression, at which point his titular father Ed (Played by Jimmy Kirk himself) laments that no one can do a good impression of him. Aside from that, the show was entertaining, but knowing it was based off a Twitter feed ruined it a bit for me. I kept imagining everything Shatner said as individual tweets that the writers of the show managed to string together via tangential relatedness. Also, the laugh track after anyone delivered a line didn’t help, as usual. Seriously, kill that shit.

I’ll keep an eye on this show. For now, I’m giving it a recommend at least insofar as the pilot goes. Give it a shot, you might like it.

So, this has gone on long enough, and I applaud you if you’re still reading. Go reward yourself for me with a pat on the back! Or, if you can’t reach your back, a Twinkie!


Reaching for something new.

September 21, 2010 Leave a comment

So, despite the fact that this blog has been more or less inactive for the last two years, I’m still averaging 65 hits a day. Why do you guys do it? I’m not quite sure. That said, it makes a good case for me to get back on the horse and keep doing my thing. In fact, I’m better equipped now to do my thing more than I ever was, thanks to a recent acquisition. That’s right, I finally have a 360. I can, you know, play games.

Laptop still sucks, though. The more things change, huh?

So, what better way to get back on the saddle than to talk about the latest thing to punch the gaming world straight in the damn face: Halo Reach (Cue inspiring chorus chanting).

Guess what, guys? It’s Halo! My god, is it Halo! This is not a bad thing by any means, though. In fact, I would say Reach (Which I firmly believe Bungie would have simply titled this game were there not a need for brand recognition) is more Halo than any Halo since Halo:CE has been. Dual wielding? Scrap it. Playing as elites in normal multiplayer? Gone, for the most part. Convoluted storylines and somehow discovering ANOTHER Halo? Forget it, we’re not about that. No, this is Halo like you haven’t experienced since some ten years ago, and it is delicious.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, though. Before I talk about what you’re all really here for, I want to give credit where credit is due: Halo Reach has an outstanding single player campaign that completely outshines anything that the last four Halo related titles (2, 3, ODST, and Wars) have thrown at us. You’re Noble Six, the newest member in an elite team of Spartans, which is saying something, since even the lowest Spartan is an elite in the overall military. You’ve been stationed on Reach, where you’re told straight from the get go that “You picked a hell of a day to join up”.

And so you did. What starts as a routine mission that is presumed to just be some anti-rebellion crowd control turns in to a battle for the very fate of the military fortress world of Reach; which, if you haven’t kept up on your Halo lore, is the last stronghold between the alien forces of The Covenant, and our home world of Earth. Spoilers, Reach falls. You will lose. This is something that, again, you already know if you’re on the up and up on your Halo mythology. What’s intriguing about the plot of this game is not the fact that Reach falls, it’s how you and the rest of Noble Team tie in to the events that occur, and how the perspective paints the climactic Fall of Reach.

One of the best early moments of the campaign

On the note of Noble Team, that’s part of what’s really incredible about this game’s story. In past Halos, you were the Master Chief, but you never really cared about the Master Chief as a character, or anyone else for that matter; at least not beyond a passing way. In Reach, you truly find yourself caring about the fate of your five fellow Noble units, as well as the fate of your Noble Six. I say your Noble Six because, unlike Master Chief, you truly define Noble Six. His or Her gender, armor type, color, and emblem all carry over from your Multiplayer spartan, contributing to a true sense of personal connection with the soldier whose eyes you see the events of the campaign unfold from. Ultimately, the story is satisfying, albeit a bit depressing. The depression is quickly lifted, though, when you remember that the game’s climax takes place mere weeks before the opening of Halo: Combat Evolved, and the smack down that the Master Chief is about to unleash unto the Covenant hordes on the titular Halo.

If I had any complaints, it would be that in the back half of the game, things do start to become a little drag-y. There’s a point where you’ll really want to start just running through anything in your way to get to the next story point, though I’m not sure if that speaks to how compelling the story is, or how monotonous the fight formula eventually gets. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that eventually Bungie just throws ridiculous amounts of dudes at you. Either way, it’s a bit of a slog, but well worth it in the end. Speaking of having dudes thrown at you…

I’ll make no bones about it: This is not an easy game. Bungie has ramped up the difficulty significantly since the three core Halos. Normal was kicking my ass in the back half, and I’m no slouch at shooters. Heroic is a true test of mettle (and described directly as “The way Halo is meant to be played” in the difficulty selection screen.), and Legendary is nothing short of a trial in the limits of patience. It says something about the difficulty level that the largest and hardest achievement in Reach is for completing Legendary in a solo game. Anyone who does this has both my applause, and my eternal doubt as to their sanity. My recommendation? If you’re a veteran of the Halo series and you know your way around an assault rifle, go ahead and dive right in to Heroic, where even a single Elite is a worthy and frightening adversary. If you want to experience pre-mature hair-loss, go for Legendary.

Alright, so the single player is good. Half of you (if not more) couldn’t care less. Is it still the Halo you know and love online?

Yes. A resounding yes. For the most part, at least. There have been some changes to the formula, but I feel that they help more than hurt, for the most part. As I mentioned, dual wielding has been thankfully done away with, meaning every weapon feels a bit beefier than it has in recent iterations. Some weapons (such as the SMG) have been done away with all together. Most of us won’t miss them. For every weapon missing in action, however, there is a brand new toy waiting for your eager hands. I’ll leave you to discover those, if you haven’t already.

Taking the place of Halo 3’s deploy-able equipment are armor abilities. These come in the form of things like sprinting, jet packs, and the bubble shield, among other things, that you choose for your spartan in the initial load out (!!!) screen when you spawn in. Aside from sprinting, most of these abilities vary in usage by situation. The jet pack isn’t terribly useful in a map that doesn’t involve a lot of verticality, as it’s actually quite slow and leaves you a sitting duck for snipers, while the bubble shield has received an overhaul in the fact that your health now regenerates while you’re inside of it. Oh yeah, in case I’d forgotten to mention- health and health packs are back. Again, Halo hasn’t been this Halo since Halo.

Playlists and matchmaking have been robustly revamped as well. New variants like Headhunter and Invasion have been added to the repertoire of gametypes, while things like campaign and the ODST pioneered Firefight have become their own multiplayer playlist options, That’s right, you can now play the campaign with complete strangers, racial epithets included.

But wait, not necessarily! Another addition to the multiplayer component is the long needed addition of psyche profiles. This is basically a set of options to single out the type of player you are and want to play with, so you can find games with like minded individuals. Want to play some team slayer with guys that actually like to work as a team? Choose Team Player over Lone Wolf. Want to avoid ten year olds that have just discovered the word “Faggot”? Choose Polite over Trash Talkers, or hell, just choose Quiet over Chatty. So far, this system has worked well in keeping things pleasant for the people who don’t want to be subjected to the stereotypical “Halo crowd”, though fears have surfaced of this eventually being used as a trolling tool. It’s not hard to imagine someone choosing “Polite” and then calling everyone in the game a different racist term before you’ve even spawned in to the map. Hopefully there will be some solution for that eventuality, like a way to go “HEY THEY GUY IS A DICKBAG”. For the moment, all we have are Xbox Live player reviews, and hey, that seems to work alright.

Frankly, I could go on and on about what Reach has done right, eventually pumping out a 3000 word post (I’m already just short of half-way there!), but I think you get the picture. With an engaging single player, and robust multi player suite, Reach is good. Reach is really, really good. If you’ve written off Halo in the past few years because of lackluster performances in 2 and 3, or have just never really had a reason to give Bungie’s mega-franchise a spin, I highly recommend you give this game a shot. It’s an homage to the Halo Franchise, a worthy farewell to the series from Bungie, and a massive loveletter to the fans all wrapped into one, incredible package.

Fuck it, just go buy it already.

4.5/5 (I know people are gonna bitch, so I’ll spell it out here: That last third or so of the campaign did nearly have me quitting. The pacing is really not so good, even if the story remains incredible. Some of the battles really feel like they’re just padding out time. It could have been a much more streamlined sequence of events. For this, I dock a half point. That’s a 90 out of 100, if you want to do the math. It’s not a bad score. It would be enough to pass a college class.)

So that’s Halo Reach in a very large nut shell, and I didn’t even touch on things like Forge and the additions and improvements to Firefight and Theater mode. Maybe I’ll do that in a future post, but I felt this review was running a little too long. So look for Halo Reach: The Review: The Addendum in the next few days, I guess? As well as some screenshots and maybe video of a map I’ve created in Forge, just to drive the  point home, and also because I’m a humongous show off.

Also coming soon: My thoughts on Ninja Theory’s Creative Director May Self Insert And Make Us Cry (DMC), and why Hideki Kamiya needs to stop breaking our hearts with hints of Megaman Legends 3. Basically, TGS 2010 in retrospect.

Till then, catchy sign out phrase.

Alas, a flashlight! (Silent Hill 2 part deux.)

October 3, 2008 Leave a comment

At the behest of a close buddy of mine, I decided to jump back onboard Silent Hill (Okay, no, but I was overanalyzing silent hill 5 with him, and then decided it sounded worth a try again). So, reinstalled the game and, lucky for me, my save files weren’t deleted by my last uninstall! So here I was again, wandering like a confused, blind, shellshocked rat through a derelict apartment building.

Now, granted, that’s exactly what I was doing the last time I played, but this time I went a little bit further and found a flashlight! Now that I can read my trusty map again, I’m a lot less frustrated. Also I found a gun. It shoots shiny bullets. I love my gun <33.

And I got the shit scared out of me. Not by one of Silent Hill’s trademark mind fucks, but in more of a totally unintentional Doom style BOO when a lying body was waiting right outside a god damned door for me. It tasted my nail-covered 2×4… Yes it did.

So, this is going well thus far. I’m hoping now that I’ve got a gun and a light source, I might not hate the game quite so much.

Additionally, Silent Hill 5 is apparently much more action oriented than the others of the series, so if I get the chance to try it out, I’ll report my thoughts on that as well.

‘Till then, Pyramid Head time ;D.

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